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Do you think technology helps or hurts our sleep? How?

최정희/2025-07-18

회원님의 올려주신 영작문
I think we will get different result depends on how we use. Most of technologies have been invented to help people's life. But we need to use it properly. Let's say that using a cell phone. If we use a cell phone before getting sleep then it can't be help for us to get a good sleep. But we must not judge that the cell phone is very harmful for us with that case. The cell phone is very useful tool when we utilize it properly. It is very important that the technologies are not guilty, but we are because the users are us.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hello Lydia!
Thank you for your thoughtful writing! You made some great points. Just a few tips: watch for article use (“a tool,” not “tool”), and try to match plurals correctly (like “technologies” with “them”). You're doing a great job. Keep it up!
~~Teacher Kate

I think we will get different result depends on how we use.
>>I think we will get different results depending on how we use them.
Most of technologies have been invented to help people's life.
>>Most technologies have been invented to help people’s lives.
But we need to use it properly.
>>CORRECT!
>>OR: But we need to use them properly.
Let's say that using a cell phone.
>>Let’s take using a cell phone as an example.
If we use a cell phone before getting sleep then it can't be help for us to get a good sleep.
>>If we use a cell phone before sleeping, it won’t help us get good sleep.
But we must not judge that the cell phone is very harmful for us with that case.
>>But we must not judge that the cell phone is harmful based on that case alone.
The cell phone is very useful tool when we utilize it properly.
>>The cell phone is a very useful tool when we utilize it properly.
It is very important that the technologies are not guilty, but we are because the users are us.
>> It is important to remember that technology is not to blame, we are, because we are the users.

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