Q) Whats the most expensive thing you have ever bought?
A) The most expensive thing was a car. I bought a new Hyundai Genesis G80 two years ago. I spent a my year's salary. Many men want to have a new car. And they usually lose interest in it soon. I also lost interest in it quickly. There are statistics showing that men usually lose interest in new things within three months. Now, I want to have a nice watch like a Rolex or Breitling. Having a nice car and a nice watch is my dream. I think I've achieved half of it.
Hi Mr. Park, your writing is clear and well-organized, and your sentences show your ideas very well. Be careful with small grammar points like unnecessary extra words. For example, a my years salary should just be my years salary. Also, when you start with And, see if you can combine it smoothly with the sentence before to make your writing flow better. Keep practicing combining short sentences and checking for small mistakes. This will help you sound more natural and polished in English. Anyway, great work and keep it up!
~ T. Lia
The most expensive thing was a car.
>> CORRECT
I bought a new Hyundai Genesis G80 two years ago.
>> CORRECT
I spent a my year's salary.
>> I spent my years salary.
Many men want to have a new car.
>> CORRECT
And they usually lose interest in it soon.
>> They usually lose interest in it soon.
I also lost interest in it quickly.
>> CORRECT
There are statistics showing that men usually lose interest in new things within three months.
>> CORRECT
Now, I want to have a nice watch like a Rolex or Breitling.
>> CORRECT
Having a nice car and a nice watch is my dream.
>> CORRECT
I think I've achieved half of it.
>> CORRECT