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영작교정 첨삭 서비스
How has technology affected people’s approach to health and well-being?
김영순/2025-08-08
회원님의 올려주신 영작문
Technology is influencing on the modern people's lives.
One of them,
Wearable device checks physical activities, sleeping pattern and heart beat to give physical information.
Most people use them to keep their daily lives.
강사님의 첨삭교정 내용
Hi Young Soon!
This is getting better.
You're almost there.
Juts a little bit more practice.
Let's continue working hard.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
Technology is influencing on the modern people's lives.
>> Technology influences the modern lives of people.
One of them, Wearable device checks physical activities, sleeping pattern and heart beat to give physical information.
One of them, Wearable device checks physical activities, sleeping pattern and heart beat to give physical information.
>> For example, some wearable devices can check physical activities, sleeping patterns and heart beat to obtain physical information.
Most people use them to keep their daily lives.
Most people use them to keep their daily lives.
>> Most people use them to maintain their daily lives.
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