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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

ielts taks 1

작성자: 이*석
2021-01-13 861

회원님의 영작문



Dear Sir/Madam,

my name is Kiseok Lee.
I am writing to you because I would like to be considered for your job offering.

I like to travel and I have been to Australia for 2 years
and I have experience of taking care my nephew who is 9 years old.
and then, I was a chef in Korea, so I can make a heathy food for your family
even if you don't have a time to shop for family , I can go to shopping for your family, because
I have a international driver license
if it is possible to live with your family, it would be good experience for you and I

in addition, in my free time, i would like to learn English for communicate with your family,
and study about for cooking to make a heathy food for your family.

thank you for taking the time to lead my letter, if you have any further question, please don't hesitate to
contact me through my e-mail, which is 000@000.com

I very much look forward receiving your reply.

Respectfully,

Kiseok Lee.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day Lee!

It is good to see you incorporating the correct punctuations and proper grammar forms here on this letter.

You have given all of the requirements of the task above, well done! You can further add that your experience of taking care of your nephew gave you an more ideas on how to handle kids and take care of them well.

For more input about this letter, see you later in class.

-T. Donna =)

Dear Sir/Madam,
>> Correct!

my name is Kiseok Lee.
I am writing to you because I would like to be considered for your job offering.
>> My name is Kiseok Lee.
I am writing you because I would like to be considered in your job offering.

I like to travel and I have been to Australia for 2 years
and I have experience of taking care my nephew who is 9 years old.
>>I like to travel and I have been to Australia for 2 years. I have experience in taking care of my nephew who is 9 years old.

and then, I was a chef in Korea, so I can make a heathy food for your family
even if you don't have a time to shop for family , I can go to shopping for your family, because
I have a international driver license
if it is possible to live with your family, it would be good experience for you and I
>> Moreover/ And then, I was a chef in Korea, so I can make healthy food for your family
even if you don't have a time to shop for them. I can go shopping for your family because
I have an international driver's license.
If it is possible to live with your family, it would be a good experience for you and I.

in addition, in my free time, i would like to learn English for communicate with your family,
and study about for cooking to make a heathy food for your family.
>> In addition, in my free time, I would like to learn English to communicate with your family
and study about cooking to make healthy food for your family.

thank you for taking the time to lead my letter, if you have any further question, please don't hesitate to
contact me through my e-mail, which is 000@000.com
>> Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. If you have any further question, please don't hesitate to
contact me through my e-mail, which is 000@000.com.

I very much look forward receiving your reply.
>> I very much look forward to receiving your reply.

Respectfully,
>> Correct!

Kiseok Lee
>> Correct!
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올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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