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Korean sweet foods

작성자: 김*지
2021-01-19 281

회원님의 영작문

There are many kinds of sweet foods in my country. Yakgwa and Youga are one of the traditional sweet foods in Korea. They are made of rice and honey. In the past, there are not many kinds of sweets and there wasn’t any culture eating sweet foods after meal because there was not enough food. Thus, ordinary people should go around to find every day’s food. However, as time goes by, Korea showed rapid economic development so that most people’s quality of life has improved. Therefore, the culture of eating dessert has become more common and new sweet foods like K-macaron appeared. Macarons are actually representative dessert in France, but K-macarons are much bigger than France’s and they have numerous colors and designs. Also, new sweet foods such as souffle pancakes and fish-shaped bun called Boonga Pang in Korean are tailored to Korean's tastes and continuously being developed.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good afternoon Min Ji! 
This is fast! Thanks again :) 
I'm gonna enjoy some sweets too after work. ^^ 

There are many kinds of sweet foods in my country. 
>> CORRECT! 
Yakgwa and Youga are one of the traditional sweet foods in Korea. 
>> CORRECT! 
They are made of rice and honey. 
>> CORRECT! 
In the past, there are not many kinds of sweets and there wasn’t any culture eating sweet foods after meal because there was not enough food.
>> CORRECT! 
OR: In the past, there were not many kinds of sweets, and because there was not enough food, there was no culture of eating sweets after meals.
Thus, ordinary people should go around to find every day’s food. 
>> Therefore, ordinary people have to go around looking for food every day.
However, as time goes by, Korea showed rapid economic development so that most people’s quality of life has improved. 
>> CORRECT! 
OR: However, over time, Korea showed rapid economic development, improving the quality of life for most people.
Therefore, the culture of eating dessert has become more common and new sweet foods like K-macaron appeared. 
>> Therefore, the culture of eating desserts became more common and new sweets such as K-Macarons appeared.
Macarons are actually representative dessert in France, but K-macarons are much bigger than France’s and they have numerous colors and designs. 
>> Macaroons are actually representative desserts in France, but K-Macarons are much larger and have a variety of colors and designs than in France.
Also, new sweet foods such as souffle pancakes and fish-shaped bun called Boonga Pang in Korean are tailored to Korean's tastes and continuously being developed.
>>Also, new sweets such as souffle pancakes and fish buns in Korean were made to suit Korean tastes and continue to develop.

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