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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What kind of advertising seems weird for you? Why?

작성자: 조*아
2021-01-19 340

회원님의 영작문

Do you judge advertisements when you watch TV? I'm interested in finding good or bad advertisements. I'd like to tell you about the weird advertisements I watched.
Many advertisers cast celebrities to promote their products efficiently. Famous stars can exert influence on many people, so a lot of money is invested to contact them. However, some advertisements don't seem attractive enough because they don't show both the celebrity and the product. I think that the advertisement which has this problem looks weird.
I wonder why advertisers cannot make a good advertisement even though they spend a lot of money to employ the influencer. I'll introduce an example. Yu Jae-seok is the most famous MC in Korea. He has good reputation, so the product will seem reliable if the advertiser uses his image well. Unfortunately, the advertisement that he appeared was bad(I even forgot the brand he promoted!). The advertisements looked weird because it didn't seem attractive with the top MC!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

You sound good about this topic and I like it, Mina! You are able to explain your example and thoughts well! Great job! -Faith-
Do you judge advertisements when you watch TV?
>> CORRECT
I'm interested in finding good or bad advertisements. 
>> CORRECT
OR: I also scrutinize advertisements whether they are good or bad. 
I'd like to tell you about the weird advertisements I watched.
>> CORRECT
Many advertisers cast celebrities to promote their products efficiently. 
>> CORRECT
OR: Most advertisers prefer celebrity endorsers because they positively affect their sales significantly.
Famous stars can exert influence on many people, so a lot of money is invested to contact them. 
>>CORRECT
However, some advertisements don't seem attractive enough because they don't show both the celebrity and the product.
>> CORRECT
I think that the advertisement which has this problem looks weird.
>> I think that an advertisement which has this problem looks weird.
I wonder why advertisers cannot make a good advertisement even though they spend a lot of money to employ the influencer. 
>> I wonder why advertisers cannot make a good advertisement even though they spend a lot of money to employ an influencer. 
I'll introduce an example. 
>> CORRECT
OR: Let me tell you an example. 
Yu Jae-seok is the most famous MC in Korea.
>> Yu Jae-seok is the most famous TV host in Korea
He has good reputation, so the product will seem reliable if the advertiser uses his image well. 
>> He has a good reputation, so the product he endorses seems reliable if advertisers use his image well. 
Unfortunately, the advertisement that he appeared was bad(I even forgot the brand he promoted!). 
>> Unfortunately, the advertisement that he appeared on was bad(I even forgot the brand he promoted!).
The advertisements looked weird because it didn't seem attractive with the top MC!
>> The advertisement looked weird because it didn't seem attractive and suitable for the best TV host!
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전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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