¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think people rely too much on computers?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-01-20 293

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that people rely too much on computers. Look at the living of people at the CoronaVirus Pandemic. They use most of time in computer. It shows how people rely on computers.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there, Kai!

Thanks for sending your homework. Here's the corrected one! Catch you in class!

Cheers,
Jean~~


I think that people rely too much on computers. 
>> correct
>> or: As I see it, people rely too much on computers. 

Look at the living of people at the CoronaVirus Pandemic.
>> Look at the way people are living their lives during this coronavirus pandemic.

 They use most of time in computer. 
>> They use or waste most of their time on computers. 

It shows how people rely on computers.
>> correct
>> or: This just shows how much people rely on computers.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105113 Many people spend money and not save it. What are the reasons?... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 300
105112 How people are greeting in Australia? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 2
105111 Homework (212) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 454
105110 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 1
105109 What is the most difficult change you have ever had to make? Ȳ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 532
105108 Why is English fluency significant for me? Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105107 Why do you think body language is important? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 6
105106 What are some normal challenges people face? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 343
105105 Hello~ ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105104 What should I do if I had to travel to a country where it¡¯s... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 442
105103 DIRECTIONS: Find the synonyms of the following words and use... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105102 What does ¡®money doesn¡¯t grow on trees¡® mean? Do you agree? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 399
105101 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 334
105100 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105099 impulsive purchase ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 311
105098 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 3
105097 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 478
105096 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 312
105095 What is the most adorable animal for you and why? Àü*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 0
105094 We have to clean our teeeth very clearly ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 316

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04