¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

HOMEWORK

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ·ù*ÁÖ
2021-01-21 219

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

What is something that you need to focus on improving this 2021?
-> I think I need to focus on more study to improve this 2021.
First, I'm going to middle school, and middle school's study is more harder than elementary school's study.
Second, study is very helpful to us for living this land, and living this life.
So I think I need to focus on more study to improve this 2021.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi John! Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think I need to focus on more study to improve this 2021.
>> I think I need to focus on more studying this 2021. 

First, I'm going to middle school, and middle school's study is more harder than elementary school's study.
>> First, I'm about to go to middle school which requires more studying than elementary schools. 

Second, study is very helpful to us for living this land, and living this life.
>> Lastly, studying is an essential for living.

So I think I need to focus on more study to improve this 2021.
>> So I think I need to focus more on studying.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105005 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 1451
105004 [1/21]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 2
105003 When do children leave their parents\' home in your country? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 1
105002 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 408
105001 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 333
105000 I love to play a drum. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 350
104999 What do you want to do for a fun weekend? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 352
104998 What can governments do to recover from the pandemic? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 1
104997 What is a challenge you faced? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 326
104996 Do you think that fruits and vegetables are good for your health? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 252
104995 English Homework 19 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 387
104994 What do you want to do if there is no corona virus? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 286
104993 Homework {01/25} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 312
104992 Pandemic ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 3
104991 What kind of exercise are you most interested in? Why? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 2
104990 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 322
104989 HOMEWORK ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 1
104988 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 291
104987 How do you feel about meeting clients in person? Answer in a... Àå*¹è ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 326
104986 What is your opinion about adoption, is adoption widely accepted... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-25 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04