¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Age of working in the society

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ÁÖ
2021-01-22 249

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and more younger than teens.
The age that people can have their own jobs is one of these.
So, people can usually work when they are about to become adults.
I think the age which people start to work in my country is from 20-year-old.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Sunny!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and more younger than teens.

>> In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and for those younger than teenagers.
The age that people can have their own jobs is one of these.

>> ( I'm sorry Sunny, I don't quite understand this sentence. ) Maybe you mean "They cannot get their own job at that age."
So, people can usually work when they are about to become adults.

>> So, people can usually work when they are almost an adult.
I think the age which people start to work in my country is from 20-year-old.

>> I think the age which people start to work in my country is from the age of 20 years old.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105085 Adorable animal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 2
105084 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 224
105083 Why do you think body language is important? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 0
105082 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 366
105081 homework_21.01.26 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105080 Many people spend money and not save it. What are the reasons?... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 368
105079 What do you think about legalizing abortion? Why? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 404
105078 Musicals Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 295
105077 The age which children leave from their parents Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 421
105076 What is the most adorable animal for you and why? ¿À*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 326
105075 If you had a boat, what areas of the world would you like to... ÇÑ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105074 I lived in... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 7
105073 What is the best way to avoid misunderstanding within the family? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 317
105072 Subject-verb agreement ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 2
105071 Why do you think verbal communication is important in a society? ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 8
105070 Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 250
105069 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105068 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 411
105067 People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 357
105066 I am looking for employeer ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 416

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04