¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outw

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-01-27 351

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The use of credit card enable people to purchase goods and service easy. People don't need to bring cash if we get a credit card. Since the smartphone introduced, we don't even need to bring a credit card because a smartphone has the function of payment. I have lost my purse several times so I have been issued my credit card and ID card again. The smartphone makes people convenient in various field. It reduce the risk of lost and we don't have to worry about robbery too. However, there are serious disadvantages when we use a credit card. First of all, we tend to spend more money because we don't usually check how much we use the credit card. Secondly, people think that they don't spend much money if they use installment plan with their credit card. Lastly, customers can get membership points according to their spending or get discount if they use a specific card, so it makes people to spend over their monthly budget. In conclusion, if we use it right way, it will help our lives.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Great day MR. HWANG! Thank you for always trying to converse with me effectively. And your essays, they are commendable! Keep it up! Have a good day!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
The use of credit card enable people to purchase goods and service easy.
>>> The use of credit cards enable the people to purchase goods and service easily.
 People don't need to bring cash if we get a credit card. 
>>> CORRECT
OR >>> People don't need to bring cash if we carry a credit card.
Since the smartphone introduced, we don't even need to bring a credit card because a smartphone has the function of payment.
>>> From the moment the smartphone was introduced, we don't even need to bring a credit card because a smartphone has mobile payment.
 I have lost my purse several times so I have been issued my credit card and ID card again. 
>>>  I have lost my purse several times so I have been issued a credit card and an ID card again. 
The smartphone makes people convenient in various field. 
>>> The smartphone gives people convenience in various ways. 
It reduce the risk of lost and we don't have to worry about robbery too. 
>>> CORRECT
However, there are serious disadvantages when we use a credit card. 
>>> CORRECT
First of all, we tend to spend more money because we don't usually check how much we use the credit card.
>>> CORRECT
 Secondly, people think that they don't spend much money if they use installment plan with their credit card.
>>> CORRECT
 Lastly, customers can get membership points according to their spending or get discount if they use a specific card, so it makes people to spend over their monthly budget.
>>> CORRECT
 In conclusion, if we use it right way, it will help our lives.
>>>  In conclusion, if we use it in a right way, it will help our lives.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105066 I am looking for employeer ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 402
105065 What is the longest I have ever slept for? Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 2
105064 Since the next election is coming soon, do political parties/... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 4206
105063 My assignment Çã*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 302
105062 The thing that I hate to do in my free time ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 360
105061 What makes me Happy😁 Á¶*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 615
105060 Why do you prefer women doctors? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 0
105059 Homework (211) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 312
105058 The nature ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 1
105057 How to less junk food ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 295
105056 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 1
105055 What is your favorite foreign food? How is it different from... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 297
105054 I like eating eggs very much! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 375
105053 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 300
105052 Most Serious Problem In The World ±è*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 4
105051 [1/25]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 4
105050 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 252
105049 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 235
105048 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 441
105047 Which animal would you like to raise? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 323

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04