¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Age of working in the society

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ÁÖ
2021-01-22 244

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and more younger than teens.
The age that people can have their own jobs is one of these.
So, people can usually work when they are about to become adults.
I think the age which people start to work in my country is from 20-year-old.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Sunny!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and more younger than teens.

>> In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and for those younger than teenagers.
The age that people can have their own jobs is one of these.

>> ( I'm sorry Sunny, I don't quite understand this sentence. ) Maybe you mean "They cannot get their own job at that age."
So, people can usually work when they are about to become adults.

>> So, people can usually work when they are almost an adult.
I think the age which people start to work in my country is from 20-year-old.

>> I think the age which people start to work in my country is from the age of 20 years old.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104864 Do you like spending time at home? Why or why not? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 320
104863 (HW) Are there any foods that bring back special memories for... Á¤*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 355
104862 Jean teacher! My first homework. ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2
104861 I can live for one day without my mobile phone. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 250
104860 Homework (207) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 288
104859 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 305
104858 Traditional Korean Food ±è*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 290
104857 [1/19]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 1
104856 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 260
104855 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 237
104854 Please tell me about a serious issue that your school faced... ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 304
104853 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 271
104852 What do you want to do in a cold weather? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 310
104851 What are the things you enjoy doing at home? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2600
104850 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 0
104849 English Homework 17 ÃÖ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 266
104848 Meeting new people ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 2
104847 Is it better to rent a home or buy a home? Give two reasons for... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 374
104846 What is the most difficult change you have ever had to make? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 1
104845 Hair ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04