¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Age of working in the society

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*ÁÖ
2021-01-22 245

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and more younger than teens.
The age that people can have their own jobs is one of these.
So, people can usually work when they are about to become adults.
I think the age which people start to work in my country is from 20-year-old.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Sunny!

Thank you for doing your homework. :)

I understand that English could be really difficult.

But it only takes faith and confidence in yourself to perfect it.

You are a smart person and I know that with constant practice you will do great¡¦ ^_^

Xoxo,

T. Christina ^^

Here are my corrections for you:


In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and more younger than teens.

>> In my country, we have some restrictions for teenagers and for those younger than teenagers.
The age that people can have their own jobs is one of these.

>> ( I'm sorry Sunny, I don't quite understand this sentence. ) Maybe you mean "They cannot get their own job at that age."
So, people can usually work when they are about to become adults.

>> So, people can usually work when they are almost an adult.
I think the age which people start to work in my country is from 20-year-old.

>> I think the age which people start to work in my country is from the age of 20 years old.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
104825 What was the most marvelous place that you have been to? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-20 297
104824 Tell me about your self ½É*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 7
104823 What kind of advertising seems weird for you? Why? Á¶*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 340
104822 My English name is Hwanny. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 5
104821 In your own opinion, how can we prevent cheating in schools? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 332
104820 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 1
104819 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 1
104818 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 1
104817 What do you usually do on weekends? ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 335
104816 What are the differences between men and women? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 0
104815 What was the best experience you\'ve had in traveling? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 0
104814 [1/18]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 3
104813 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 297
104812 What kind of gadget do you wish to have? Why? ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 2
104811 Homework (206) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 342
104810 what is the first thing you notice about a person. ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 265
104809 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 4
104808 The most memorable birthday present! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 3
104807 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 342
104806 Do people in your country eat the same foods for breakfast,... ÇÑ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04