¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What makes me Happy😁

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*½Å
2021-01-26 633

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We all want to be happy. So we try to find some method to be happier and to laugh more. What makes you happy? In my case, my family and friends make me happy.
First of all, we can share our troubles and concerns. When we are stressed, we become angry and sensitive. We feel stuffy when we have lots of stress and concerns. We want to release our stress so much. But when we have friends and, family near us, we can share our concerns. That will lead us to feel better and we would be happy!
Second, people become happy when they are comfortable. When we are with our family, we become comfortable and released. When we are released, we become happy because when we are with comfortable people our concerns disappeared. So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know much and who are comfortable.
In conclusion, family and friends make me happy because first, we can share our troubles and concerns. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Hannah! ^_^
Thank you for doing your homework~
You were able to make good sentences.
Keep it up, dear!

- T. Rina


1. We all want to be happy. 
>> CORRECT!

2. So we try to find some method to be happier and to laugh more. 
>> So we try to find some methods to be happier and to laugh more. 

3. What makes you happy? 
>> CORRECT!

4. In my case, my family and friends make me happy.
>> CORRECT!

5. First of all, we can share our troubles and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

6. When we are stressed, we become angry and sensitive. 
>> CORRECT!

7. We feel stuffy when we have lots of stress and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

8. We want to release our stress so much. 
>> We want to relieve stress so much.
OR: We want to reduce stress so much.

9. But when we have friends and, family near us, we can share our concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

10. That will lead us to feel better and we would be happy!
>> CORRECT!

12. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable. 
>> CORRECT!

13. When we are with our family, we become comfortable and released. 
>> When we are with our family, we become comfortable and relieved.

14. When we are released, we become happy because when we are with comfortable people our concerns disappeared. 
>> When we are relieved, we become happy because when we are with the people who make us feel comfortable, our concerns disappear. 

15. So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know much and who are comfortable.
>> So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know well and who make them feel comfortable.

16. In conclusion, family and friends make me happy because first, we can share our troubles and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

17. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105204 Effect ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-31 2
105203 Music industry workers urge government to save dying performing... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-31 2
105202 OMG º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-31 2
105201 What comes to your mind when you hear the words \"Covid-19\"? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-01-30 8
105200 DIRECTIONS: Make a sentence using these words: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-30 1
105199 Please explain this statement, \"Truth hurts.\" ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-30 1
105198 Homework ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-01-30 0
105197 Homework ±è*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-01-30 352
105196 Do you think we need law to protect mother nature? Àü*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-30 0
105195 What other language do you want to speak? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-30 275
105194 Homework (214) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-29 293
105193 The reason that body language is important ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-29 333
105192 When was the best day you were with your friends? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-29 0
105191 What are some ways in which gossip can be harmful? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-29 246
105190 Can you think of any examples of people who are rich and... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-29 301
105189 [1/27]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-29 3
105188 Which greeting kind of annoys me?? ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-29 2
105187 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-29 0
105186 [1/26]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-29 0
105185 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-29 285

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04