¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What makes me Happy😁

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*½Å
2021-01-26 616

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

We all want to be happy. So we try to find some method to be happier and to laugh more. What makes you happy? In my case, my family and friends make me happy.
First of all, we can share our troubles and concerns. When we are stressed, we become angry and sensitive. We feel stuffy when we have lots of stress and concerns. We want to release our stress so much. But when we have friends and, family near us, we can share our concerns. That will lead us to feel better and we would be happy!
Second, people become happy when they are comfortable. When we are with our family, we become comfortable and released. When we are released, we become happy because when we are with comfortable people our concerns disappeared. So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know much and who are comfortable.
In conclusion, family and friends make me happy because first, we can share our troubles and concerns. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Hannah! ^_^
Thank you for doing your homework~
You were able to make good sentences.
Keep it up, dear!

- T. Rina


1. We all want to be happy. 
>> CORRECT!

2. So we try to find some method to be happier and to laugh more. 
>> So we try to find some methods to be happier and to laugh more. 

3. What makes you happy? 
>> CORRECT!

4. In my case, my family and friends make me happy.
>> CORRECT!

5. First of all, we can share our troubles and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

6. When we are stressed, we become angry and sensitive. 
>> CORRECT!

7. We feel stuffy when we have lots of stress and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

8. We want to release our stress so much. 
>> We want to relieve stress so much.
OR: We want to reduce stress so much.

9. But when we have friends and, family near us, we can share our concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

10. That will lead us to feel better and we would be happy!
>> CORRECT!

12. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable. 
>> CORRECT!

13. When we are with our family, we become comfortable and released. 
>> When we are with our family, we become comfortable and relieved.

14. When we are released, we become happy because when we are with comfortable people our concerns disappeared. 
>> When we are relieved, we become happy because when we are with the people who make us feel comfortable, our concerns disappear. 

15. So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know much and who are comfortable.
>> So because of this, some people like to stay with people who they know well and who make them feel comfortable.

16. In conclusion, family and friends make me happy because first, we can share our troubles and concerns. 
>> CORRECT!

17. Second, people become happy when they are comfortable.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105110 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 1
105109 What is the most difficult change you have ever had to make? Ȳ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 519
105108 Why is English fluency significant for me? Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105107 Why do you think body language is important? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 6
105106 What are some normal challenges people face? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 341
105105 Hello~ ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105104 What should I do if I had to travel to a country where it¡¯s... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 441
105103 DIRECTIONS: Find the synonyms of the following words and use... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105102 What does ¡®money doesn¡¯t grow on trees¡® mean? Do you agree? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 396
105101 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 334
105100 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105099 impulsive purchase ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 310
105098 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 3
105097 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 475
105096 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 308
105095 What is the most adorable animal for you and why? Àü*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 0
105094 We have to clean our teeeth very clearly ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 316
105093 What can governments do to recover from the global pandemic? Àü*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 0
105092 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 342
105091 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04