¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¾Æ
2021-01-29 364

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree to certain extent.
These day, people watch the news on the Internet instead of newspapers.
Also search on the Internet instead of magazines and they read e-books instead of paperbooks.
As it goes on, newspapers, paper books will disappear.
But it can't go away.
Because, they are traditional things that have been around since our ancestors.
Therefore, it is good to solve everything through the Internet, but sometimes it would be good to use traditional methods.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Eden~! ^^ I'm really sorry about what happened today. Anyway, I hope to see you on Monday~! ^^ Thank you for doing your best in your essays! Keep improving!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
I agree to certain extent.
>>> I agree to a certain extent.
These day, people watch the news on the Internet instead of newspapers.
>>> These days, people watch the news on the internet instead of reading newspapers.
Also search on the Internet instead of magazines and they read e-books instead of paperbooks.
>>> Also, they search on the internet instead of magazines and they read e-books instead of paper books.
As it goes on, newspapers, paper books will disappear.
>>> As it goes on, newspapers, paper books might disappear.
But it can't go away.
>>> CORRECT
Because, they are traditional things that have been around since our ancestors.
>>> Because, they are traditional things which have been around since our ancestors.
Therefore, it is good to solve everything through the internet, but sometimes it would be good to use traditional methods.
>>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105625 Addict ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 2
105624 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105623 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 2
105622 writing check up_Please feel free to correct sentences ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 2
105621 writing check up ¾È*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 1
105620 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-15 803
105619 Do you agree that tattoo is modern art? ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 648
105618 What are the benefits of collecting? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 683
105617 Homework0214 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 615
105616 My mom¡¯s best food. ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 558
105615 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 1
105614 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 1
105613 Enough money ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 3
105612 Being addicted to sports Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 536
105611 Comparing the works Á¤*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 548
105610 Is it important to be punctual on your first date? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-14 629
105609 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-13 5
105608 What is one famouse art work that you are familiar with and how... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-13 634
105607 HOMEWORK FOR 02.10 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-13 581
105606 Hi Elise! ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-13 513

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04