¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The biggest change of Korean families.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-02-04 532

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The biggest change of Korean families is having one child or not. I have 5 friends who have been meeting often. Only one friend has two children other friends have one child or not. Korea is the lowest country of birth rate in OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). Korean population is getting decreasing. It is one of big problem in Korea. Nowadays, Raising a child needs lots of money. Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for children. They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. In my case, I have wanted have three children, but It's sorry to my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


The biggest change of Korean families.

The biggest change of Korean families is having one child or not. 
>>> The biggest change in Korean families is having one child or no children at all. 

I have 5 friends who have been meeting often.
>>> I have 5 friends whom I'm meeting very often. 

Only one friend has two children other friends have one child or not.
>>> Only one among them has two children other friends have one child and others none.

Korea is the lowest country of birth rate in OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). 
>>> Korea has the lowest birth rate according to OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). 

Korean population is getting decreasing. 
>>> The Korean population is decreasing. 

It is one of big problem in Korea. Nowadays, Raising a child needs lots of money. 
>>> It is one of the biggest problems in Korea. Nowadays, raising a child needs lots of money. 

Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for children. 
>>> Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for their children. 

They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. 
>>> They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. 

In my case, I have wanted have three children, but It's sorry to my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.
>>> In my case, I have wanted to have three children, but I'll just feel sorry for my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105401 Homework ±è*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 2
105400 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1481
105399 course introduction ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 640
105398 Why Color Is Important. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 492
105397 I like \"Beauty and the Beast\" because of a moral lesson ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 510
105396 I like to listen to a classic music like Orchestra À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1911
105395 I like having guests in my house. ±è*Å ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1
105394 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 461
105393 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 394
105392 Work related task(2) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 0
105391 Work related task(1) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 0
105390 Work-related ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 2
105389 The first man to walk on the moon claimed it was a step forward... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 525
105388 What are the pros and cons of collecting things? ÇÑ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 2
105387 Where do you wish to live when you are old? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 0
105386 About One day being celebrity/star Çã* ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 499
105385 I.. ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 3
105384 It\'s time to rethink South Korea\'s pandemic response. À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 1
105383 There are various kinds of traditional drinks in Korea. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 306
105382 homework ¹Ú*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-04 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04