¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The biggest change of Korean families.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-02-04 547

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The biggest change of Korean families is having one child or not. I have 5 friends who have been meeting often. Only one friend has two children other friends have one child or not. Korea is the lowest country of birth rate in OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). Korean population is getting decreasing. It is one of big problem in Korea. Nowadays, Raising a child needs lots of money. Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for children. They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. In my case, I have wanted have three children, but It's sorry to my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


The biggest change of Korean families.

The biggest change of Korean families is having one child or not. 
>>> The biggest change in Korean families is having one child or no children at all. 

I have 5 friends who have been meeting often.
>>> I have 5 friends whom I'm meeting very often. 

Only one friend has two children other friends have one child or not.
>>> Only one among them has two children other friends have one child and others none.

Korea is the lowest country of birth rate in OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). 
>>> Korea has the lowest birth rate according to OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). 

Korean population is getting decreasing. 
>>> The Korean population is decreasing. 

It is one of big problem in Korea. Nowadays, Raising a child needs lots of money. 
>>> It is one of the biggest problems in Korea. Nowadays, raising a child needs lots of money. 

Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for children. 
>>> Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for their children. 

They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. 
>>> They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. 

In my case, I have wanted have three children, but It's sorry to my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.
>>> In my case, I have wanted to have three children, but I'll just feel sorry for my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105130 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 277
105129 Why do you think body language is important? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 0
105128 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 230
105127 What would you do if you had to travel to a country where it\'s... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 0
105126 Winter season ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 355
105125 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 243
105124 What makes you happy? È«*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 311
105123 Hi Ysabelle. º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 4
105122 Biden\'s presidency to offer Korean economy greater chance À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 1
105121 photo ½É*¿ë ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 327
105120 ielts taks 1 ÀÌ*¼® ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 340
105119 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 1
105118 Beauty stores battered by coronavirus pandemic À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 1
105117 It is good for many things, but it is difficult. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 369
105116 Who did you play with most often when you were growing up? ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 332
105115 For some survivors, COVID-19 won\'t go away À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 1
105114 (HW) What disease frightens you the most? Why? Á¤*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 297
105113 Many people spend money and not save it. What are the reasons?... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 283
105112 How people are greeting in Australia? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 2
105111 Homework (212) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 453

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04