¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The biggest change of Korean families.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-02-04 548

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The biggest change of Korean families is having one child or not. I have 5 friends who have been meeting often. Only one friend has two children other friends have one child or not. Korea is the lowest country of birth rate in OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). Korean population is getting decreasing. It is one of big problem in Korea. Nowadays, Raising a child needs lots of money. Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for children. They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. In my case, I have wanted have three children, but It's sorry to my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Kim Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)


The biggest change of Korean families.

The biggest change of Korean families is having one child or not. 
>>> The biggest change in Korean families is having one child or no children at all. 

I have 5 friends who have been meeting often.
>>> I have 5 friends whom I'm meeting very often. 

Only one friend has two children other friends have one child or not.
>>> Only one among them has two children other friends have one child and others none.

Korea is the lowest country of birth rate in OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). 
>>> Korea has the lowest birth rate according to OECD(Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development). 

Korean population is getting decreasing. 
>>> The Korean population is decreasing. 

It is one of big problem in Korea. Nowadays, Raising a child needs lots of money. 
>>> It is one of the biggest problems in Korea. Nowadays, raising a child needs lots of money. 

Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for children. 
>>> Parents these days don't totally sacrifice for their children. 

They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. 
>>> They want to enjoy their life instead of having two children. 

In my case, I have wanted have three children, but It's sorry to my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.
>>> In my case, I have wanted to have three children, but I'll just feel sorry for my children because I can't support them economically as much as they want.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105110 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 1
105109 What is the most difficult change you have ever had to make? Ȳ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-28 520
105108 Why is English fluency significant for me? Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105107 Why do you think body language is important? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 6
105106 What are some normal challenges people face? ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 343
105105 Hello~ ½Å*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105104 What should I do if I had to travel to a country where it¡¯s... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 441
105103 DIRECTIONS: Find the synonyms of the following words and use... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105102 What does ¡®money doesn¡¯t grow on trees¡® mean? Do you agree? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 396
105101 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 334
105100 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105099 impulsive purchase ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 311
105098 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 3
105097 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 475
105096 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 309
105095 What is the most adorable animal for you and why? Àü*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 0
105094 We have to clean our teeeth very clearly ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 316
105093 What can governments do to recover from the global pandemic? Àü*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 0
105092 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 342
105091 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04