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What are some of the best jobs you can think of?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ȯ
2021-02-05 478

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The best job many people think is owner of building.
It means unemployed but earning money.
But,, in this case, there is no development.
Because i want to develop my ability, my best job is another thing.

My best job for me is businessman.
This job can develop ability of many departments. Although it should have leadership, it is attractive job.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Liam!
Thank you for sharing your views about the essay question. Kindly go over my corrections.
Thank you for your time and efforts.
Always,
~Kelly^^
The best job many people think is owner of building.
>> For many people, they thing that being a building owner is the best job.
It means unemployed but earning money.
>> Because even if they are not employed but they earn money.
But,, in this case, there is no development.
>> But, in this case, there is no personal growth and development.
Because i want to develop my ability, my best job is another thing.
>> Because I want to develop my ability so I have a different opinion about "best jobs".
My best job for me is businessman.
>> The best job for me is being a businessman.
This job can develop ability of many departments. 
>> Did you mean: This type of job can develop a person's abilities in many ways.
Although it should have leadership, it is attractive job.
>> Although it requires a person to have leadership skills, it is an attractive job.
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