¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

02.16.21 About Plastic surgery and Beauty .

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: È«*¼ö
2021-02-16 695

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. Do you think that different cultures think about beauty differently?

Yes, It depends on different culture. Because we have individual different personalities and characteristics when we grow up.
And we experience around different environment.


2. What do you think of plastic surgery?

I believe that you can take plastic surgery but it is not good way to express what you took.
It can be effected to young children. Actually they are beautiful the way they are. But displaying plastic surgery could be popular even they aren¡¯t into that.

3. What is the most common plastic surgery in your country?

I believe that people care about their appearance from what other people look at them.
That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes and high nose and an oval face.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steph!
Thank you for your response. Plastic surgery is really a new norm. It's getting popular to a lot of people. However, I totally agree with you that it always depends on you and it should be what you want and not what other's want you to do. By the way, your sentences make sense. You just need to be mindful of the punctuation marks. I also suggested some new expressions that could somehow convey your ideas better. Keep it up!
~Elica~
1. Do you think that different cultures think about beauty differently?
>>CORRECT

Yes, It depends on different culture. 
>>Yes, it depends on different cultures. 
Because we have individual different personalities and characteristics when we grow up.
>>CORRECT
And we experience around different environment.
>>CORRECT


2. What do you think of plastic surgery?
>>CORRECT

I believe that you can take plastic surgery but it is not good way to express what you took.
>>I believe that you an undergo plastic surgery but it is not a good way to express what you think.
It can be effected to young children. 
>>It can affect young children.
Actually they are beautiful the way they are. 
>>CORRECT
But displaying plastic surgery could be popular even they aren¡¯t into that.
>>CORRECT

3. What is the most common plastic surgery in your country?
>>CORRECT

I believe that people care about their appearance from what other people look at them.
>>I believe that people care about their appearance and on how people see them.
That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes and high nose and an oval face.
>>That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes, high nose and an oval face.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105906 Homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 933
105905 How do you maintain your privacy at home? Why, do you think, is... Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 897
105904 why I should save money ±¸*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 0
105903 Thousands of cold-stunned sea turtles rescued off coast of Texas À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 0
105902 Homework 2.23 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1644
105901 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 840
105900 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 943
105899 Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 895
105898 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105897 I think that the education system is necessary. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1168
105896 homework_21.02.18 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105895 If I can do research work on a specific subject or field Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105894 The advantages and disadvantages of taking risks ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1488
105893 [2/18]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105892 [2/17]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 2
105891 Do you enjoy holidays? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1039
105890 Do you agree that having a lot of homework is good training for... ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105889 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1080
105888 What do people do during movies that really annoy you? Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 961
105887 Bond of my family ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04