¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

02.16.21 About Plastic surgery and Beauty .

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: È«*¼ö
2021-02-16 677

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

1. Do you think that different cultures think about beauty differently?

Yes, It depends on different culture. Because we have individual different personalities and characteristics when we grow up.
And we experience around different environment.


2. What do you think of plastic surgery?

I believe that you can take plastic surgery but it is not good way to express what you took.
It can be effected to young children. Actually they are beautiful the way they are. But displaying plastic surgery could be popular even they aren¡¯t into that.

3. What is the most common plastic surgery in your country?

I believe that people care about their appearance from what other people look at them.
That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes and high nose and an oval face.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Steph!
Thank you for your response. Plastic surgery is really a new norm. It's getting popular to a lot of people. However, I totally agree with you that it always depends on you and it should be what you want and not what other's want you to do. By the way, your sentences make sense. You just need to be mindful of the punctuation marks. I also suggested some new expressions that could somehow convey your ideas better. Keep it up!
~Elica~
1. Do you think that different cultures think about beauty differently?
>>CORRECT

Yes, It depends on different culture. 
>>Yes, it depends on different cultures. 
Because we have individual different personalities and characteristics when we grow up.
>>CORRECT
And we experience around different environment.
>>CORRECT


2. What do you think of plastic surgery?
>>CORRECT

I believe that you can take plastic surgery but it is not good way to express what you took.
>>I believe that you an undergo plastic surgery but it is not a good way to express what you think.
It can be effected to young children. 
>>It can affect young children.
Actually they are beautiful the way they are. 
>>CORRECT
But displaying plastic surgery could be popular even they aren¡¯t into that.
>>CORRECT

3. What is the most common plastic surgery in your country?
>>CORRECT

I believe that people care about their appearance from what other people look at them.
>>I believe that people care about their appearance and on how people see them.
That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes and high nose and an oval face.
>>That¡¯s why they want to have big eyes, high nose and an oval face.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105827 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105826 The best gift to our parents is letter. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1062
105825 How many languages can you speak? How will you use English in... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1026
105824 Why do you think that there are a lot of people who like to go... °û*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1040
105823 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1044
105822 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1152
105821 What kind of exercise would you like to try doing? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1114
105820 Friday ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 978
105819 What is something that is not yet existing but you want to be... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105818 The most important thing in a relationship À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105817 Privacy Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105816 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105815 Where would I recommend others to see in Korea ½É*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105814 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105813 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105812 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1021
105811 Homework: Àü*¿Á ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 2
105810 If your life was in danger, who would you call and why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1
105809 What basketball teams do you follow? What is interesting about... Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 931
105808 02.19 Fri. About living. È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 7

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04