¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What makes someone beautiful?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¶*½Å
2021-02-16 945

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Everyone wants to be beautiful. So they buy a new clothes, new cosmetics, and change their hairstyle. Then, what makes people beautiful? In my opinion, I think their personality make them beautiful. First, we think people who are kind is beautiful. Because they are good to people, they has a good first impression to people. First impression is really important because people's attitude depends on first impression. Second, we can buy better appearance by cosmetic surgery but we can't buy good personality. And I think things that we can't buy with money is valuable than things that we can buy with money.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Hannah~
You have made very good sentences.
Keep it up!

- T. Rina


1. Everyone wants to be beautiful. 
>> CORRECT!

2. So they buy a new clothes, new cosmetics, and change their hairstyle. 
>> So, they buy new clothes, new cosmetics and change their hairstyles.

3. Then, what makes people beautiful? 
>> CORRECT!

4. In my opinion, I think their personality make them beautiful.
>> In my opinion, I think their personalities make them beautiful.

5. First, we think people who are kind is beautiful. 
>> First, we think people who are kind are beautiful. 

6. Because they are good to people, they has a good first impression to people. 
>> Because they are good to people, they have a good first impression to people. 

7. First impression is really important because people's attitude depends on first impression. 
>> CORRECT!

8. Second, we can buy better appearance by cosmetic surgery but we can't buy good personality. 
>> CORRECT!

9. And I think things that we can't buy with money is valuable than things that we can buy with money.
 >> And I think things that we can't buy with money are more valuable than the things that we can buy with money.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106108 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3917
106107 Hi teacher~ ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3419
106106 Should people make their children have easy lives with few... È«*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106105 Books are worth keeping! À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 2
106104 Seoul city supports flower farmers hit by COVID-19 slump À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 0
106103 Less than half of Koreans willing to receive COVID-19 vaccine... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106102 The speaking test on 27th Feb. Á¤*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1686
106101 Write about your favorite amusement park. Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1565
106100 Hr Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1328
106099 Seoul City seeks to support older pet sitters À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1
106098 Share your most memorable dream you\'ve had. ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 1568
106097 [02/26]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 2
106096 What is the best way to help people with disability? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 5278
106095 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 4342
106094 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 0
106093 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 0
106092 Where do you and tour friends usually go to? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3419
106091 Use the following words in your own sentence. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3511
106090 homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3622
106089 I think the most interesting topic on our next book is... ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-01 3240

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04