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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

The biggest problem that I have overcome.

작성자: 김*환
2021-02-16 1230

회원님의 영작문

21 year ago. I joined the military. All of healthy Korean men have to do military service.
After basic military training, I was placed special force. I never want to be placed, but I had no choice.
A life at special force was extreme hard. I had to take special training as like Helicopter rappel(to jump into air from helicopter 10m ~15m high with a rope), special martial arts( kind of Taekwondo). While I was taking the training, I thought that getting hurt as much can't walk better than taking the training. So When I ran on a mountain in summer, I thought that hundred times. But I couldn't. After putting down all of my mind, I was easy. Those days, I had slept with dreams that it was drinking beer, having a meal my mom served every days.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



The biggest problem that I have overcome.


21 year ago. I joined the military. All of healthy Korean men have to do military service.
>>> 21 years ago I joined the military. All healthy Korean men have to do military service in Korea.

After basic military training, I was placed special force. 
>>> After basic military training, I was placed in the special force. 

I never want to be placed, but I had no choice.
>>> I never want to be assigned to the special force, but I had no choice.

A life at special force was extreme hard. 
>>> Life at the special force was extremely hard. 

I had to take special training as like Helicopter rappel(to jump into air from helicopter 10m ~15m high with a rope), special martial arts( kind of Taekwondo). 
>>> I had to take special training like Helicopter rappel (to jump into the air from a helicopter which is 10m ~15m high with a rope), especially martial arts which is similar to Taekwondo. 

While I was taking the training, I thought that getting hurt as much can't walk better than taking the training. 
>>> While I was taking the training, I thought that getting hurt to the point that I can't walk will be better than taking the rest of the training. 

So When I ran on a mountain in summer, I thought that hundred times. 
>>> So when I ran on a mountain in summer, I have thought that for hundred times but I couldn't.

But I couldn't. After putting down all of my mind, I was easy. 
>>> After focusing all of my minds, it became easy. 

Those days, I had slept with dreams that it was drinking beer, having a meal my mom served every days.
>>> Those days, I had slept with dreams that I was drinking beer or I was having a meal that my mom used to serve every day.
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