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영작교정 게시판

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자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

In some countries, there are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days. Wh

작성자: 황*하
2021-02-17 812

회원님의 영작문

All subjects are worth learning but I don't know if people have to learn subjects which are not interested in. Classic music is well known as making people calm, relaxed and happy. However, most people prefer to listen to pop music because it is more rhythmical than classic music. People also want to enjoy watching hansom guys or beautiful girls on TV but people don't want to see classic music programs and don't have any feeling when they meet musical players. Even though, classic music has positive effect to people I don't why we have to learn it. I think it is better learning something if somebody is interested in specific area. I don't even know what kind of positive effect classic music has. So I would like to say that it is important music but everybody don't have to learn it.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day Mr. Hwang! Motivation also helps in making you active in life. You will struggle more to fulfill your goals. A self-motivated person always discovers a way to understand the issues hindering the path to complete a task. Moreover, they do not require other people’s support to accomplish a challenging task close to them.
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
All subjects are worth learning but I don't know if people have to learn subjects which are not interested in. 
>>> All subjects are worth learning but I don't know if people have to learn subjects which they're not interested in. 
Classic music is well known as making people calm, relaxed and happy.
>>> CORRECT
 However, most people prefer to listen to pop music because it is more rhythmical than classic music.
>>> CORRECT
 People also want to enjoy watching hansom guys or beautiful girls on TV but people don't want to see classic music programs and don't have any feeling when they meet musical players. 
 >>> People also want to enjoy watching handsome guys or beautiful girls on TV but people don't want to see classic music programs and don't have any feeling when they meet musical players. 
Even though, classic music has positive effect to people I don't why we have to learn it.
>>> Even though, classic music has positive effect to people I don't know why we have to learn it.
 I think it is better learning something if somebody is interested in specific area. 
>>> I think it is better to learn other things if somebody is interested in specific area. 
I don't even know what kind of positive effect classic music has.
>>> CORRECT
So I would like to say that it is important music but everybody don't have to learn it.
>>> So I would like to say that music is important but everybody doesn't have to learn it.
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01
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02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04

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