¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Why do you think that there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: °û*È¿
2021-02-19 1025

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet because they think they are fat.
However, many of Korean say they will go on a diet, but still they eat a lot and not exercising.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Jamie,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Why do you think that there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet?

I think there are a lot of people who like to go on a diet because they think they are fat.
>>> CORRECT

However, many of Korean say they will go on a diet, but still they eat a lot and not exercising.
>>> However, many Koreans say they will go on a diet, but still, they eat a lot and they don't exercise.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105838 Describe the best party that you have been to. Why was it the... Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-20 1081
105837 HOMEWORK FOR 02.19 Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1091
105836 What do you like about the Korean Educational system? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105835 To Gina ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1450
105834 Homework (226) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1042
105833 [2/16]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105832 The thing I like the most in my hometown ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 954
105831 How do you want to be comforted when you are not in your best... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 904
105830 What¡¯s the most interesting thing you can do in your house if... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 940
105829 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1038
105828 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105827 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 0
105826 The best gift to our parents is letter. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1045
105825 How many languages can you speak? How will you use English in... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1008
105824 Why do you think that there are a lot of people who like to go... °û*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1025
105823 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1031
105822 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1141
105821 What kind of exercise would you like to try doing? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1094
105820 Friday ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 962
105819 What is something that is not yet existing but you want to be... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04