¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-02-22 1129

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think happiness depends on personal mind. I can be happy how I think regardless of wealth, health and factors around me. However, if I can't keep my basic life from food to hosing, I can't have positive mind for my life. I would feel frustrated, exhausted and see the world like disaster. Education for children and basic right should be guaranteed by the government. People also need jobs to get money. The monk who is really famous in Korea said that people have to try not to have many things. He suggested us to empty our mind by training like meditation. He also stressed that happiness start from not to have any possessions. I partially agree with it but I think we can control ourselves if we can solve basic needs. We have heard a lot of stories about rich people that they are not always happy because humans desire are infinite. Rich people don't think that they are rich so they want to earn more money. Rich people have a lot of conflicts with their family members because of money.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good morning MR. HWANG~! ^^ Thanks for doing your homework! ^^Tuesday is a good day to reflect on the types of thoughts you are feeding your mind each day! Have a good one~! See you! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think happiness depends on personal mind.
>>> CORRECT
>>> OR I think happiness depends on one's mind.
 I can be happy how I think regardless of wealth, health and factors around me. 
>>> I can be happy regardless of wealth, health and some factors around me. 
However, if I can't keep my basic life from food to hosing, I can't have positive mind for my life. 
>>> CORRECT
I would feel frustrated, exhausted and see the world like a disaster.
>>> CORRECT
 Education for children and basic right should be guaranteed by the government.
>>> CORRECT
 People also need jobs to get money.
>>> CORRECT
 The monk who is really famous in Korea said that people have to try not to have many things.
>>> A monk who is really famous in Korea said that people have to try not to have many things.
 He suggested us to empty our mind by training like meditation.
>>>  He suggested us to empty our mind by meditation.
 He also stressed that happiness start from not to have any possessions.
>>>  He also stressed that happiness starts from not having any possessions.
 I partially agree with it but I think we can control ourselves if we can solve basic needs.
>>>  I partially agree with it but I think we can control ourselves if we can solve our basic needs.
 We have heard a lot of stories about rich people that they are not always happy because humans' desires are infinite. 
>>> CORRECT
Rich people don't think that they are rich so they want to earn more money.
>>> CORRECT
 Rich people have a lot of conflicts with their family members because of money.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105070 Society is based on rules and laws. It could not function if... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 250
105069 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 1
105068 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 411
105067 People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 357
105066 I am looking for employeer ¹Ú*¸í ¿Ï·á 2021-01-27 417
105065 What is the longest I have ever slept for? Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 2
105064 Since the next election is coming soon, do political parties/... ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 4208
105063 My assignment Çã*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 313
105062 The thing that I hate to do in my free time ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 373
105061 What makes me Happy😁 Á¶*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 625
105060 Why do you prefer women doctors? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 0
105059 Homework (211) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 317
105058 The nature ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 1
105057 How to less junk food ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 298
105056 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 1
105055 What is your favorite foreign food? How is it different from... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 310
105054 I like eating eggs very much! ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 387
105053 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 315
105052 Most Serious Problem In The World ±è*Âù ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 4
105051 [1/25]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-01-26 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04