¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The advantages and disadvantages of taking risks

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-02-22 1450

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Taking risk can give us responsibilities and wisdom to live our life. But it can also frustrate us and we should spend hard time. So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right way to us. But whatever we choose regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that,

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! You're right. It comes with advantages and disadvantages so we should be careful when it comes to making decisions. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

Taking risk can give us responsibilities and wisdom to live our life. 
>> CORRECT

But it can also frustrate us and we should spend hard time. 
>>But it can also frustrate us and let us have a hard time. 

So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right way to us. 
>> So we have to be serious when we have to take a risk and choose the right thing for us. 

But whatever we choose regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that,
>> But whatever we choose, regret follows so we should be ready to accept things after that.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105698 About self-esteem ¼±*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 801
105697 Better learning ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 956
105696 Homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 789
105695 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 803
105694 There is a lot of importance of rocks. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 963
105693 In my country ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 2
105692 Do you believe in miracles? What miracles happen around you... ¼­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 834
105691 What do you think is the reason why the students weren\'t... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105690 Would you like to be famous? Why or why not? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105689 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 805
105688 If you had one wish at this point in time, what would it be?... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105687 What are the things you expect for this new year? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 0
105686 heard to getting older Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 1
105685 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 6
105684 my busiest day of the week Á¶*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 916
105683 What makes someone beautiful? Á¶*½Å ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 922
105682 Have you ever dialed a wrong number? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 820
105681 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 693
105680 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 639
105679 What qualities friend I want ±¸*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04