¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-03-02 2728

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Students are required to do unpaid community work for university entrance. I thought it help students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society. If people haven't experienced these activity, they might have problem with their colleagues someday. However, there have been a lot of changes at work, school and our life. We feel uncomfortable if we don't get proper reward. Old generation used to do overtime work without additional salary but young people have raised these issues and we could finally get exact compensation as they work. With this view, unpaid community work have to be changed. Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid from facility. However, they get points for their entrance exam so wage should be lower than regular workers. Government and the ministry of education have to reform a bill regarding this activity and provide proper reward.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi MR. HWANG~! ^^ Thanks for your ideas! Keep it up! I appreciate that you work independently and takes pride in work well done
Have a good one~! 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Students are required to do unpaid community work for university entrance.
>>> CORRECT
I thought it help students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society.
>>> I thought it helps students learning relationship, communication skill, and attitude in the society.
 If people haven't experienced these activity, they might have problems with their colleagues someday.
>>> CORRECT
 However, there have been a lot of changes at work, school and our life.
>>> CORRECT
 We feel uncomfortable if we don't get proper rewards. 
>>> CORRECT
Old generation used to do overtime work without additional salary but young people have raised these issues and we could finally get exact compensation as they work. 
>>> CORRECT
With this view, unpaid community work have to be changed. 
>>> With this view, unpaid community work has to be changed. 
Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid from facility.
>>> Even though, students do voluntary service, they have to be paid for the used  facilities.
 However, they get points for their entrance exam so wages should be lower than regular workers. 
>>> CORRECT
Government and the ministry of education have to reform a bill regarding this activity and provide proper reward.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106136 How did you start liking dogs? ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2852
106135 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4050
106134 Growing kids need love, and protect. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3245
106133 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2
106132 In spring ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4212
106131 Experience ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3013
106130 Homework 3.2 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2480
106129 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2796
106128 What do you think of Google¡¯s idea to put all the world¡¯s... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106127 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3240
106126 When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3578
106125 Homework0302 ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3443
106124 HOMEWORK Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106123 Space exploration is much too expensive and the money should be... Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3628
106122 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106121 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 3809
106120 Woman nabbed for posting flyers containing misinformation on... À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106119 DIRECTIONS: Use the words in a sentence. ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 1
106118 Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 2728
106117 Does violence in movies and on television inspire violence in... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-02 4086

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04