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영작교정 게시판

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Describe a line that you remember from a poem or song.

작성자: 정*철
2021-03-09 5322

회원님의 영작문

I remember a line from the poem(the title is Shame) written by one of the most famous patriots, Dong-joo, Yoon: Let me have no shame under the heaven till I die. He fought with Japanese armies and he had very strict mind of doing something right. I learnt the poem when I was a high school student in a Korean textbook.
When I studied that poem, I felt such a shame as the same title because I even didn't think about doing something right for our country. He was in his early 20's when he wrote it and he was died in the middle of imprisonment. I was wondering if I were him, could I live like him? Resisting on Japan and keep struggling to do for the national independence and to spread out the spirit of patriot by writing poems in prison. I thought I was just a normal adolescent and didn't have strong mind to stick to something right beyond torture.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Charles, 
This prompt is supposed to be for your oral practice to be recorded. ^ ^ Thanks for writing the response anyway. 
-Rachel
I remember a line from the poem(the title is Shame) written by one of the most famous patriots, Dong-joo, Yoon: Let me have no shame under the heaven till I die. 
>> correct
>> OR: I remember a line from the poem called Shame written by one of the most famous patriots, Dong Joo Yoon. It goes this way: Let no shame under the heaven till I die.
He fought with Japanese armies and he had very strict mind of doing something right. 
>> He fought against the Japanese armies and followed a strict and upright life.
I learnt the poem when I was a high school student in a Korean textbook.
>> correct
When I studied that poem, I felt such a shame as the same title because I even didn't think about doing something right for our country.
>> correct
>> When I studied the poem, I felt shame as the title points out because I never even imagined of doing something right for my country. 
 He was in his early 20's when he wrote it and he was died in the middle of imprisonment. 
>> He was in his early 20's  when he wrote it, and he died in the middle of his imprisonment.
I was wondering if I were him, could I live like him?
>> I was wondering if I could live like him if I were him.
 Resisting on Japan and keep struggling to do for the national independence and to spread out the spirit of patriot by writing poems in prison.
>> In his lifetime, he continually resisted against the Japanese invasion, fought for independence ad spread the spirit of patriotism by writing poems in prison. 
 I thought I was just a normal adolescent and didn't have strong mind to stick to something right beyond torture.
>> While he lived a difficult life, I had a normal and free life without the determination to do something especially beyond torture.
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