¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think bullying should be made a crime or is it part of growing up?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-09 4522

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think bullying is absolutely crime. Some children use their strength to bully the weak children. They bully someone just for the fun, It's an indelible wound to someone who gets hurt. In Korea, many famous people are now rumored to committed to school violence. I think school violence should be a crime, So Victims of school violence will disappear.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! I feel the same way. Victims of bullying get hurt no only physically but mentally as well. They should put a stop to this. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think bullying is absolutely crime. 
>>CORRECT

Some children use their strength to bully the weak children. 
>> CORRECT

They bully someone just for the fun, It's an indelible wound to someone who gets hurt. 
>> They bully other people just for fun. It's causes deep wounds physically and mentally to the victim. 

In Korea, many famous people are now rumored to committed to school violence. 
>> In Korea, many famous people are rumored to do violence in school. 

I think school violence should be a crime, So Victims of school violence will disappear.
>> I think bullying should be a crime so that violence in school would be put into an end. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
105908 What part of your childhood would you remember the most? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1039
105907 Homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 994
105906 Homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 975
105905 How do you maintain your privacy at home? Why, do you think, is... Á¤*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 921
105904 why I should save money ±¸*È¿ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 0
105903 Thousands of cold-stunned sea turtles rescued off coast of Texas À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 0
105902 Homework 2.23 Àå*º° ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1661
105901 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 848
105900 homework ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 951
105899 Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 902
105898 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105897 I think that the education system is necessary. ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1195
105896 homework_21.02.18 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105895 If I can do research work on a specific subject or field Á¶*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-23 1
105894 The advantages and disadvantages of taking risks ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1498
105893 [2/18]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105892 [2/17]/Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 2
105891 Do you enjoy holidays? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1053
105890 Do you agree that having a lot of homework is good training for... ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1
105889 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-02-22 1090

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04