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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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Physical appearance

작성자: 김*환
2021-03-12 4271

회원님의 영작문

My answer is "Yes". According to the study, First impression is judged in 3 seconds. If you don't dress well, you don't need to appeal who you are in job interview. For example, there are two guys. One guy is wearing a suit, tall, good body line and handsome, but he graded high school. Another person, He is a university professor but he is smaller then another guy, obese and wearing dirty cloths. When they have a discussion, many people agree with first guy. It can apply on crimes. Last year, a woman had a press interview. Because she had to apologize about taking drugs for several years. At that time, she didn't wear a mask to show her innocent(or beautiful) face, and she wore a white blouse and black pants. When people see her appearance, nobody thinks that she is a drug criminal.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



Physical Appearance

My answer is "Yes". According to the study, First impression is judged in 3 seconds. 
>>> My answer is "yes". According to the study, the first impression is judged within 3 seconds. 

If you don't dress well, you don't need to appeal who you are in job interview.
>>> If you don't dress well, you don't need to appeal to who you are in a job interview.

For example, there are two guys. One guy is wearing a suit, tall, good body line and handsome, but he graded high school.
>>> For example, there are two guys. One guy is wearing a suit, tall, handsome, and has a good body, but he's a high school graduate. 

Another person, He is a university professor but he is smaller then another guy, obese and wearing dirty cloths. 
>>> The other guy is a university professor but he is smaller than another guy, obese, and usually wears dirty clothes. 

When they have a discussion, many people agree with first guy. It can apply on crimes. 
>>> When they have a discussion, many people will agree with the first guy. It can apply to crimes as well. 

Last year, a woman had a press interview. Because she had to apologize about taking drugs for several years.
>>> Last year, a woman had a press interview because she had to apologize for taking drugs for several years.

At that time, she didn't wear a mask to show her innocent(or beautiful) face, and she wore a white blouse and black pants. 
>>> At that time, she didn't wear a mask to show that she's innocent or to show her beautiful face, instead, she wore a white blouse and black pants. 

When people see her appearance, nobody thinks that she is a drug criminal.
>>> When people saw her appearance, nobody thinks that she is a drug criminal.
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