¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you are going to save up some money for something, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Á¤
2021-03-15 4492

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to buy my own house especially in seoul. The prices of buildings in seoul increase every year deeply. so I want to buy it as soon as possible. if I have a job, I loan the money and buy house. That's more efficient than saving money.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tobby! Investing in a house is very good especially for your future. Keep it up!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I want to buy my own house especially in seoul. 
>> I want to buy my own house especially in Seoul. 

The prices of buildings in seoul increase every year deeply. 
>> The prices of buildings in Seoul increase every year deeply so I want to buy one as soon as possible. 

so I want to buy it as soon as possible.
>>CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

 if I have a job, I loan the money and buy house. 
>> If I have a job, I will loan some money and buy a house. 

That's more efficient than saving money.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107112 Homework (253) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1240
107111 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1
107110 Don\'t know what to do.. Áö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1560
107109 What do you think life was like for human beings when dinosaurs... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1148
107108 I studied Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 0
107107 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1896
107106 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1169
107105 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1556
107104 HOMEWORK Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1
107103 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1
107102 [03/30]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1
107101 [03/26]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 2
107100 My goal ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 2
107099 Is appearance important to your job? Share your answer in a... ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 917
107098 My favorite topic is scrapbook ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1226
107097 Why do many people try to have a healthy lifestyle? ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1855
107096 Skip ¼Û*ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1723
107095 Royal Family Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 994
107094 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 840
107093 Wednesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1038

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04