¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What do you think life was like for human beings when dinosaurs were around?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-03-31 1072

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that life of the human beings were cruelly hard. They have to be aware of predators. Also, they had to find foods to eat. Although they lived with other people, their life were still hard before basis civilization developed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your edited composition, Kai! Catch you next week!

Cheers, 
Jean~~



I think that life of the human beings were cruelly hard. 
>> I think that the life of human beings at that time was cruelly hard. 

They have to be aware of predators. 
>> They always had to be aware of predators and live on the edge. 

Also, they had to find foods to eat. 
>> correct

Although they lived with other people, their life were still hard before basis civilization developed.
>> Although they lived with other people, their life was still hard before the development of civilization. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106964 Homework {03/26} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2235
106963 Why do people renovate their houses? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1
106962 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2472
106961 What is your favorite movie? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2705
106960 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2979
106959 What body language offends you? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2307
106958 When a person spends most of his or her time working a job with... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2761
106957 What is your favorite song and why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2500
106956 Homework ÀÌ*¶÷ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2
106955 What are indirect questions? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2246
106954 What do you want to include in your ideal fitness program? ½Å*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1647
106953 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2113
106952 cover letter ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 4
106951 cover letter ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1
106950 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2
106949 How often do you wash your hands with soap? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1762
106948 Do you prefer baths or showers? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1777
106947 alternatives of zoos Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1552
106946 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 1
106945 homework ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-26 2215

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04