¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If you are going to save up some money for something, what would it be and why?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Á¤
2021-03-15 4458

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to buy my own house especially in seoul. The prices of buildings in seoul increase every year deeply. so I want to buy it as soon as possible. if I have a job, I loan the money and buy house. That's more efficient than saving money.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tobby! Investing in a house is very good especially for your future. Keep it up!

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I want to buy my own house especially in seoul. 
>> I want to buy my own house especially in Seoul. 

The prices of buildings in seoul increase every year deeply. 
>> The prices of buildings in Seoul increase every year deeply so I want to buy one as soon as possible. 

so I want to buy it as soon as possible.
>>CONNECT WITH THE SENTENCE ABOVE. 

 if I have a job, I loan the money and buy house. 
>> If I have a job, I will loan some money and buy a house. 

That's more efficient than saving money.
>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106611 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4092
106610 What is the importance of having time with your family? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3717
106609 How do they decide to marry? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106608 artist and freedom ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4909
106607 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 5351
106606 A movie or a show ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 2
106605 I love Jeans and over fit wear. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3941
106604 Fill in the blanks. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3934
106603 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4291
106602 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3815
106601 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4330
106600 importance of having time with my family Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 0
106599 What is the importance of having time with your family? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4100
106598 Sharon, I\'m Minju Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 11
106597 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 2
106596 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3
106595 What leadership qualities do you have? What leadership qualities... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3
106594 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3
106593 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106592 The reason why childhood memory is important À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04