¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the importance of having time with your family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-16 4100

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is important to spend time with family. Because it makes us feel better by talking about that we haven't talked about before. I usually don't have time, so I can't talk to my family well. Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on a family trip together .If i active with my family, watch, and talk while eating, i feel better , As a result, spending enough time with your family seems to be mentally helpful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! I agree with you. Nothing gives us more comfort than spending time with our family. We usually underestimate it but it's actually a very therapeutical thing to do. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

It is important to spend time with family. Because it makes us feel better by talking about that we haven't talked about before. 
>> It is important to spend time with family because it comforts us especially by talking about things we haven't talked about before. 

I usually don't have time, so I can't talk to my family well. 
>> I usually don't have spare time, that's why I don't talk with my family that much. 

Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on a family trip together .
>>Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on trips  together .

If i active with my family, watch, and talk while eating, i feel better ,
>> If I'm more active with my family, we usually watch, talk and eat together which makes me feel better. 

As a result, spending enough time with your family seems to be mentally helpful.
>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106611 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4092
106610 What is the importance of having time with your family? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3717
106609 How do they decide to marry? ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106608 artist and freedom ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4909
106607 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 5353
106606 A movie or a show ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 2
106605 I love Jeans and over fit wear. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3941
106604 Fill in the blanks. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3934
106603 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4291
106602 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3817
106601 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4330
106600 importance of having time with my family Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 0
106599 What is the importance of having time with your family? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 4100
106598 Sharon, I\'m Minju Á¶*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 11
106597 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 2
106596 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3
106595 What leadership qualities do you have? What leadership qualities... È«*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3
106594 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 3
106593 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1
106592 The reason why childhood memory is important À¯*¸° ¿Ï·á 2021-03-16 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04