¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the importance of having time with your family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-16 4207

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is important to spend time with family. Because it makes us feel better by talking about that we haven't talked about before. I usually don't have time, so I can't talk to my family well. Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on a family trip together .If i active with my family, watch, and talk while eating, i feel better , As a result, spending enough time with your family seems to be mentally helpful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! I agree with you. Nothing gives us more comfort than spending time with our family. We usually underestimate it but it's actually a very therapeutical thing to do. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

It is important to spend time with family. Because it makes us feel better by talking about that we haven't talked about before. 
>> It is important to spend time with family because it comforts us especially by talking about things we haven't talked about before. 

I usually don't have time, so I can't talk to my family well. 
>> I usually don't have spare time, that's why I don't talk with my family that much. 

Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on a family trip together .
>>Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on trips  together .

If i active with my family, watch, and talk while eating, i feel better ,
>> If I'm more active with my family, we usually watch, talk and eat together which makes me feel better. 

As a result, spending enough time with your family seems to be mentally helpful.
>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107603 Friday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 802
107602 If you can have a big birthday party, how do you want it to be... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 0
107601 Do you like playing computer games? ÃÖ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 858
107600 Were you afraid of the dark when you were younger? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 1
107599 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 779
107598 SMILE ANSWER º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 751
107597 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 0
107596 Homework📝 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 702
107595 The conduct of Japan ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 737
107594 Homwork ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 5
107593 Young Koreans Dream of Early Retirement À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 3
107592 work email-2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 0
107591 Work email-1 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 2
107590 Email (1) ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 1
107589 hello. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 699
107588 How did your parents choose your name? ½Å*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 893
107587 What do you usually bring when you visit a friend? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 644
107586 Task ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 626
107585 Do you like visiting your friends? Why? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 672
107584 Where would you like to travel? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 689

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04