¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What is the importance of having time with your family?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿­
2021-03-16 4206

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is important to spend time with family. Because it makes us feel better by talking about that we haven't talked about before. I usually don't have time, so I can't talk to my family well. Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on a family trip together .If i active with my family, watch, and talk while eating, i feel better , As a result, spending enough time with your family seems to be mentally helpful.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Steve! I agree with you. Nothing gives us more comfort than spending time with our family. We usually underestimate it but it's actually a very therapeutical thing to do. :)

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

It is important to spend time with family. Because it makes us feel better by talking about that we haven't talked about before. 
>> It is important to spend time with family because it comforts us especially by talking about things we haven't talked about before. 

I usually don't have time, so I can't talk to my family well. 
>> I usually don't have spare time, that's why I don't talk with my family that much. 

Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on a family trip together .
>>Instead, my family and I often talk when we go on trips  together .

If i active with my family, watch, and talk while eating, i feel better ,
>> If I'm more active with my family, we usually watch, talk and eat together which makes me feel better. 

As a result, spending enough time with your family seems to be mentally helpful.
>>CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107578 Homework º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-16 1
107577 What do you think of all the fad diets that come on the market? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 776
107576 interview q ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 0
107575 Assignment º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 1
107574 My favorite fictional character ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 881
107573 Homework (263) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 700
107572 My vacation Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 736
107571 [04/14]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 1
107570 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 772
107569 Homework (4.14) ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 743
107568 Work email3 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 0
107567 Work email2 ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 0
107566 Work email ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 0
107565 Is homeschooling an effective method of education? Why or why... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 532
107564 What is the best memory you have in school when you were still... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 610
107563 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 3
107562 email draft ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 3
107561 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 636
107560 Homework °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 629
107559 homework gw* yoonah ¿Ï·á 2021-04-15 831

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04