¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people prefer hobbies that require technology, whereas others prefer hobbies that do not requir

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-03-18 3344

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some people prefer to do physical activities as their hobbies, on the other hand many people love to use technology whenever they have free time. I accord with the first view as people are already surrounded by these machines in their daily routine. Enjoying hobbies without the usage of technology has a plenty of benefits. Firstly, people can unwind themselves by doing different activities which help them to stay fit. Second, it help us avoid neurological disease such as dementia and depression. Finally, we can socialize with many people on site whereas socialization online is untact based meeting. Some people can insist to the strongest advantage using technology for hobbies. It definitely help to do some activities like smart watch which analyze the amount of exercise. However, we can do any activities without technologies. These devices can't be essential for our live but It can boast our convenience. In conclusion, I prefer to do work out instead of doing something with techno

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Mr. HWANG~! ^^ Thanks for the discussion today! Have a great weekend!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA 
Some people prefer to do physical activities as their hobbies, on the other hand many people love to use technology whenever they have free time. 
>>> CORRECT
I accord with the first view as people are already surrounded by these machines in their daily routine. 
>>> CORRECT
Enjoying hobbies without the usage of technology has plenty of benefits. 
>>> CORRECT
Firstly, people can unwind themselves by doing different activities which help them to stay fit.
>>> CORRECT
Second, it helps us avoid neurological disease such as dementia and depression.
>>> CORRECT
 Finally, we can socialize with many people on site whereas socialization online is unfact based meeting.
>>> CORRECT
 Some people can insist to the strongest advantage using technology for hobbies.
>>> CORRECT
It definitely helps to do some activities like smart watch which analyze the amount of exercise.
>>> CORRECT
 However, we can do any activities without technologies. 
>>> CORRECT
These devices can't be essential for our live but it can boast our convenience. 
>>> CORRECT
In conclusion, I prefer to do work out instead of doing something with technology.
>>> CORRECT

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
106809 What kind of people don\'t you like? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2
106808 Homework (246) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 4640
106807 Does your happiness change during different times of the day,... ±è*À» ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3643
106806 What is your opinion of scientists? Do you think they are boring... ±è*À» ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3030
106805 ¡°I thought the invention of the mobile phone was to save our... Ȳ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3082
106804 If you had the chance to change your name, would you do it? Why... Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 1
106803 Is peer pressure beneficial or harmful? ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3277
106802 Make cookie and puddig. ±è*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2495
106801 Hm Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3054
106800 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 4568
106799 Boys and girls, be ambitious! ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2884
106798 What are the biggest problems with living in cities? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3975
106797 I was went to a cafe Viaggio. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2925
106796 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 0
106795 Have nice answer. º¯*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3005
106794 Make or compose three3 sentences using the verb LEARN\' ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2953
106793 homework °¨*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 1
106792 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3208
106791 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 2745
106790 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-22 3199

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04