¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Slaves to gadgets.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*ȯ
2021-03-18 3837

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I totally agree with that people are becoming slaves to gadgets these days. When I go to somewhere where is far from home especially when I use public transportation. I must bring a charger to recharge my smart phone. I don't know how did I spend time when I was in a train before having a smart phone. And, When I see a person who doesn't watch a smart phone in a train, I curious that what he is thinking.
I love the latest IT devices. Right after having a new IT device, I am totally becoming a slave to the IT device. If the IT device has a scratch, It is so heart break. I desire to turn back the time before when my IT device doesn't have a scratch. If I made the scratch, I blame myself. Although it is no use.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Il Hwan,

  Thank you for taking time to answer this question. It only proves that you really wanted to improve in your English skill. Please do check and take note of the corrections for your improvement. I hope it helped you. 

Keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Teacher Annie (^^)



I totally agree with that people are becoming slaves to gadgets these days. 
>>> I totally agree with the statement that people are becoming slaves to gadgets these days. 

When I go to somewhere where is far from home especially when I use public transportation. I must bring a charger to recharge my smart phone.
>>> When I go somewhere especially far from home or when I use public transportation, I must bring a charger to recharge my smartphone. 

I don't know how did I spend time when I was in a train before having a smart phone.
>>> I don't know how did I spend time when I was on a train before when I still don't have a smartphone.

And, When I see a person who doesn't watch a smart phone in a train, I curious that what he is thinking.
>>> When I see a person who doesn't watch his /his smartphone on a train, I am curious as to that what he is thinking.

I love the latest IT devices. Right after having a new IT device, I am totally becoming a slave to the IT device. 
>>> CORRECT

If the IT device has a scratch, It is so heart break.
>>> If the IT device has a scratch, It is so heartbreaking. 

I desire to turn back the time before when my IT device doesn't have a scratch. 
>>> CORRECT

If I made the scratch, I blame myself. Although it is no use.
>>> If I made the scratch, I usually blame myself. Although it is of no use.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107152 Do you think you will surely succeed if you study hard? Why or... ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-04-03 840
107151 Do you think Arts have something to do with one\'s behavior? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-03 786
107150 Subject + Be verb + adjective or noun Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-03 1144
107149 Assignment º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-02 3
107148 Who is the person you trust the most? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-02 880
107147 Do you think sunblock is important when going to the beach? Why? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-02 1
107146 Where do you usually meet new people? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-02 1476
107145 More Koreans Have Children Later in Life À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-02 2
107144 Is aging more difficult for men or women? Why? ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-04-02 1001
107143 I think that I open my own mouth(a little bit...) Áö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1808
107142 The change of the weather where I live. ±è*¿Â ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 874
107141 What stresses you the most and how to you handle it? Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1
107140 Homework (254) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1548
107139 I think.. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1
107138 ¤Ç¤Ì Àå*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1568
107137 homework ±è*ºñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 0
107136 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1
107135 What do you think is the most serious problem in the world? Why... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1079
107134 [03/31]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1
107133 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-01 1080

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04