¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. Wh

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¿ø
2021-03-25 2337

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Some people believe that children can accomplish anything if they endeavor hard, Giving children this message makes advantages and disadvantages while they are growing up. It can help children achieve their goal or give them a big stress which resulted in a defensive attitude. People encourage their children to set a high goal and say that they can do anything if they do their best. This is effective way for raising children because positive attitude is first step to do something. For example, when I was young, I was not good at running. Whenever I avoid to run at school, my mother always cheer me up with telling that I can run fast if I endeavor. Thus, when I graduated elementary school, I became a runner represented for my class. From that experience, I could have an ambitious attitude, and this is really helpful for doing my work. Otherwise, some children can feel a big pressure from parents' saying which is they can achieve anything if they do their best. Depending on children's

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good evening Young Won!

This is a very appropriate topic for you. You wrote it very well and gave specific examples. Great job!

See you in a short while.

-T. Donna =)

Some people believe that children can accomplish anything if they endeavor hard, 
>> Correct!
Or: End with a period.

Giving children this message makes advantages and disadvantages while they are growing up. 
>> Correct!

It can help children achieve their goal or give them a big stress which resulted in a defensive attitude. 
>> It can help children achieve their goal or give them a big stress which can result in a defensive attitude. 

People encourage their children to set a high goal and say that they can do anything if they do their best. 
>> Correct!

This is effective way for raising children because positive attitude is first step to do something. 
>> This is an effective way of raising children because positive attitude is the first step to do something. 

For example, when I was young, I was not good at running. 
>> Correct!

Whenever I avoid to run at school, my mother always cheer me up with telling that I can run fast if I endeavor. 
>> Whenever I avoid to run at school, my mother always cheers me up telling that I can run fast if I endeavor doing it. 

Thus, when I graduated elementary school, I became a runner represented for my class. 
>> Thus, when I graduated in my elementary school, I became a runner and represented my class. 

From that experience, I could have an ambitious attitude, and this is really helpful for doing my work. 
>> Correct!

Otherwise, some children can feel a big pressure from parents' saying which is they can achieve anything if they do their best. 
>> Otherwise, some children can feel a big pressure from parents' saying that they can achieve anything if they do their best. 

Depending on children's
>> To be continued...
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108497 SOP 5 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-14 1
108496 Do you think you make a good first impression? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 1077
108495 SOP 3 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 1
108494 SOP 2 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 1
108493 SOP 1 Áø*±â ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 1
108492 Homework (283) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 634
108491 What will you do if you experience discrimination when you visit... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 643
108490 What can you say about the job of a teacher? À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 609
108489 What is your best memory in school and why? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 800
108488 First impressions matter ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 737
108487 School Performance Assessment 3 (writing an article) ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 4
108486 For you, what is the heaviest reason why some couples get a... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 6
108485 Homework ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 708
108484 Happy ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 1
108483 What is your best memory in school and why? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 614
108482 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 786
108481 What is your favorite month and why? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 2
108480 Homework °­*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 505
108479 A walk in the clouds, 1995 ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 681
108478 Like carictor ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-13 561

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04