¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How important is dancing in your culture?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-03-26 2051

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Dancing is very important in Korean culture. In past, there was a dance called masked dance. When there was corruption in my country, citizens wore mask and dance. During the dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thought.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Kai! This is one interesting piece of your history and culture that you've shared. Thank you.

Cheers,
Jean~~

Dancing is very important in Korean culture. 
In past, there was a dance called masked dance. 
>> correct

When there was corruption in my country, citizens wore mask and dance. 
>> At that time, our leaders or officials oppressed the people and they were corrupt so the citizens wore masks and danced. 

During the dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thought.
>> While dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thoughts. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107084 I... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1
107083 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1529
107082 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1
107081 Do you think the world would be a better place without cars? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1412
107080 Is it better to talk about and share opinions or keep them to... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1454
107079 What is your favorite season and why? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1603
107078 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 0
107077 HI.... Á¶*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 0
107076 Do you like meeting new people? Why or why not? What are some... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1783
107075 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 8
107074 . Can you explain this proverb in other words? \"Save your... ±Ç*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-31 1323
107073 Do you prefer hot countries or cool countries when you go on... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 4
107072 you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or why... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1380
107071 About Me! ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1314
107070 The country that I would like to born in if I could ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1044
107069 What are the advantages and disadvantages of Online Selling and... ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1489
107068 What are the things that you have learned last year? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 3
107067 If you could be born in another country, which one would you... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 3
107066 What do you think is the best food to eat in the morning? ±è*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107065 Do you have a plan for this coming weekend? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1052

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04