¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How important is dancing in your culture?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*Á¶
2021-03-26 2050

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Dancing is very important in Korean culture. In past, there was a dance called masked dance. When there was corruption in my country, citizens wore mask and dance. During the dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thought.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Here's your corrected composition, Kai! This is one interesting piece of your history and culture that you've shared. Thank you.

Cheers,
Jean~~

Dancing is very important in Korean culture. 
In past, there was a dance called masked dance. 
>> correct

When there was corruption in my country, citizens wore mask and dance. 
>> At that time, our leaders or officials oppressed the people and they were corrupt so the citizens wore masks and danced. 

During the dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thought.
>> While dancing, people criticized the country and expressed their thoughts. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107064 my pronunciation is omg... Áö*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1691
107063 Homework (252) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1252
107062 What are some of the difficulties being self employed ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1
107061 homework ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 2
107060 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1309
107059 What is a tag question? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1171
107058 How is my family feature? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1364
107057 I want.. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107056 I think.. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107055 I think.. Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107054 I like... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107053 Choosing the right noun. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1608
107052 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 823
107051 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1672
107050 Tuesday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 953
107049 Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution... Á¤*¼º ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1255
107048 My favorite restaurant ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 0
107047 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 5
107046 Is technology a good or a bad thing? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 861
107045 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-03-30 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04