¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2021-03-30 1355

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or why not?

I don't need to discipline a child.
If I give a violence to a child, I think to be changed more emotioanl.
Violence has a bad effect s by parents and child.
For the discipline a child, we have to be a rational person
Of course, It might a difficult!!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica! I think the Asian culture is used to using violence when it comes to disciplining their children but this has to end already. Violence is never the key.  We should be very patient with children because they are bound to make mistakes as they are growing up. That's why I think good communication relationship is very important :) I agree with your answer. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!


I don't need to discipline a child.
>> Violence is not needed to discipline a child. 

If I give a violence to a child, I think to be changed more emotioanl.
>> If violence is given to a child, it would harm them emotionally. 

Violence has a bad effect s by parents and child.
>> Violence will have a bad effect to both parents and to the child. 

For the discipline a child, we have to be a rational person
>> To discipline a child, we have to be a rational person. 

Of course, It might a difficult!!
>> Of course, it can be difficult at times. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107265 My... ¹®*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 2
107264 Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 548
107263 Who is your role model in your life? Why? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1
107262 Marriage is no longer necessary nowadays. Do you agree or... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107261 What would life be like without weekends? Do you have enough... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 569
107260 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 10
107259 Tell me about the proper way of taking care of our skin Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 558
107258 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 540
107257 the synonyms of the words and use them in a sentence: ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1
107256 how would you know if a person is good or not during your first... ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1
107255 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 1
107254 What is the most beautiful thing in nature? Why? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 698
107253 What do you usually do with your friends? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 559
107252 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107251 Composition º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-07 0
107250 During an interview, what will you do if one of the interviewer... À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 2
107249 we can learn many thing about our life cause we can get a... À¯*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 653
107248 My proudest moment. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 490
107247 What stresses you the most and how to you handle it? ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 900
107246 Which one would you rather use as your main source of... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 572

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04