¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2021-03-30 1354

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or why not?

I don't need to discipline a child.
If I give a violence to a child, I think to be changed more emotioanl.
Violence has a bad effect s by parents and child.
For the discipline a child, we have to be a rational person
Of course, It might a difficult!!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica! I think the Asian culture is used to using violence when it comes to disciplining their children but this has to end already. Violence is never the key.  We should be very patient with children because they are bound to make mistakes as they are growing up. That's why I think good communication relationship is very important :) I agree with your answer. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!


I don't need to discipline a child.
>> Violence is not needed to discipline a child. 

If I give a violence to a child, I think to be changed more emotioanl.
>> If violence is given to a child, it would harm them emotionally. 

Violence has a bad effect s by parents and child.
>> Violence will have a bad effect to both parents and to the child. 

For the discipline a child, we have to be a rational person
>> To discipline a child, we have to be a rational person. 

Of course, It might a difficult!!
>> Of course, it can be difficult at times. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107219 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107218 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107217 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107216 Have verb Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 597
107215 What sport do you like watching? ¼Û*·É ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 489
107214 Which one would you rather use as your main source of... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107213 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107212 Which one would you rather use as your main source of... ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 409
107211 iron man Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 467
107210 Why is English fluency significant for you? °æ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 557
107209 Kimchi could help ease coronavirus symptoms À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107208 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 572
107207 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 19
107206 home work ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 400
107205 Assignment º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 1
107204 homework_21.03.30 ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 2
107203 If you could change one thing about your current house to make... ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 411
107202 How often do you go to restaurants? ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 656
107201 Homework ¾ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 0
107200 If you could change any aspect of your personality, what would... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-06 431

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04