¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¹Ú*ÁÖ
2021-03-30 1353

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

you think violence is needed to discipline a child? Why or why not?

I don't need to discipline a child.
If I give a violence to a child, I think to be changed more emotioanl.
Violence has a bad effect s by parents and child.
For the discipline a child, we have to be a rational person
Of course, It might a difficult!!

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Monica! I think the Asian culture is used to using violence when it comes to disciplining their children but this has to end already. Violence is never the key.  We should be very patient with children because they are bound to make mistakes as they are growing up. That's why I think good communication relationship is very important :) I agree with your answer. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!


I don't need to discipline a child.
>> Violence is not needed to discipline a child. 

If I give a violence to a child, I think to be changed more emotioanl.
>> If violence is given to a child, it would harm them emotionally. 

Violence has a bad effect s by parents and child.
>> Violence will have a bad effect to both parents and to the child. 

For the discipline a child, we have to be a rational person
>> To discipline a child, we have to be a rational person. 

Of course, It might a difficult!!
>> Of course, it can be difficult at times. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107177 Election Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 377
107176 Are friends more important than family? What do you think? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 1
107175 What is the symbol of spring. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 427
107174 What is the best car you ever had? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 455
107173 HOMEWORK ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 561
107172 Monday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 400
107171 Some people believe that the experiences children have before... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 389
107170 Is it true that money can make the world go round? for some... ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 481
107169 My introduction Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 492
107168 interview Qs practice ±Ç*½Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 469
107167 Homework😀 ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 570
107166 Tell me about myself À¯*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 2
107165 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 1
107164 Homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 564
107163 homework ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 531
107162 What is the weather like in your country for each season? ÇÏ*Á¶ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 709
107161 How do you preserve beautuful sceneries in your country? Á¤*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-05 801
107160 What comes to mind when you hear the word \'weekend\'? Are you... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-04 451
107159 Something bad that happened to me. ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-04 580
107158 What stresses you the most and how to you handle it? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-04 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04