¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

If I can have one thing forever

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ø
2021-04-22 693

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

If I can have one thing forever I would like to live with my familiy forever. I can¡¯t imagine my life without my family. Sometimes when I thought that I don¡¯t have anyone beside me, I feel so sad and I¡¯m afraid with it. But I know that there¡¯s nothing lasts forever. So I will cherish the memory of my family.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Heidi! We all have something that we need all the time. Sometimes, it has a sentimental value to us that's why it's hard to let go. And there are some that are just very useful to us. Either way, we can't live without it because of the importance. It teaches us how to value things very much. Thanks for sharing yours :) 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

If I can have one thing forever I would like to live with my familiy forever. 
>> If I can have one thing forever, it would be living with my family forever. 

I can¡¯t imagine my life without my family. 
>>CORRECT

Sometimes when I thought that I don¡¯t have anyone beside me, I feel so sad and I¡¯m afraid with it. 
>> Sometimes when I think that I don¡¯t have anyone beside me, I feel so sad and afraid. 

But I know that there¡¯s nothing lasts forever. 
>> But I know nothing lasts forever. 

So I will cherish the memory of my family.
>> So I will cherish all my memories with my family. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
107702 Some people think that famous people can help international aid... Ȳ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 615
107701 What do you usually do when you are facing a really big problem? Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 1
107700 Have got Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 625
107699 Where\'s the trendiest area in your city? Do you enjoy going... ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 1
107698 What do you usually do when you are facing a really big problem? ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 516
107697 The early bird catches the early worm ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 789
107696 when do you think time flies so fast? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 585
107695 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 1
107694 Who is the greatest actor of all time? º¯*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 565
107693 homework ³ë*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 2
107692 Sentence making: ±è*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 516
107691 Thank you ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-20 0
107690 Writing @ ¾È*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 1
107689 [04/16]Homework ¹Ú*¹ü ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 1
107688 The most thing I love in our country ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 671
107687 Homework (265) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 553
107686 HOMEWORK ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 3
107685 I... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 1
107684 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 4
107683 I... Á¤*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-19 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04