¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for s

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-04-27 894

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly believe that the individual can help the society if they achieve their goals. The education can change everything regarding people's life. We have seen a lot of example of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status. These factors influence to the people's life and decide the quality of education in each country. There are a lot of children who didn't even get basic education even if some of them are genius. This is really sad story for us but most people can't afford to care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. The education should be useful for society as well as individuals. If people don't feel achievement what their are doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. If the job is only for the money, there will not be any improvement for individuals and society. So, people have to try to find what they like and want to do in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mr. Hwang. I missed you Monday. Anyway, I know you had a good time with another teacher. ;)  Thanks for doing your essay. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that the individual can help the society if they achieve their goals. 
>>> CORRECT
The education can change everything regarding people's life.
>>> CORRECT
We have seen a lot of example of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status.
>>> We have seen a lot of examples of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status.
 These factors influence to the people's life and decide the quality of education in each country. 
>>>  These factors influence the people's life and decisions of the quality of education in each country. 
There are a lot of children who didn't even get basic education even if some of them are genius. 
>>> CORRECT
This is really sad story for us but most people can't afford to care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. 
>>> This is really a sad story for us but most people can't afford to take care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. 
The education should be useful for society as well as individuals.
>>> CORRECT
 If people don't feel achievement what their are doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. 
>>>  If people don't feel any accomplishments on what they're doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. 
If the job is only for the money, there will not be any improvement for individuals and society. 
>>> If doing their job is only for the sake of money, there will not be any improvements for individuals and society. 
So, people have to try to find what they like and want to do in the future.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109898 Is being poor a valid reason to commit crime? Why or why not? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 527
109897 Hyundai Pharm seeks approval for abortion pill À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 1
109896 Is being poor a valid reason to commit crime? Why or why not? ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 479
109895 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 331
109894 Is being poor a valid reason to commit crime? Why or why not? ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 0
109893 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 559
109892 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 439
109891 Facility ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 3
109890 Thursday diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 1
109889 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 476
109888 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 1
109887 How would you want to spend a long holiday? ±è*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 490
109886 conversation À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 362
109885 What is the beginning of conversation? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 556
109884 Why do people sometimes feel afraid to express their real... ¹Ú*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-08 573
109883 What illegal trade does your country have? ¾È*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 1
109882 What kind of support should children give their aging parents? ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 576
109881 homework on July 7 ÃÖ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 2
109880 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 1
109879 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-07 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04