¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for s

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Ȳ*ÇÏ
2021-04-27 893

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I strongly believe that the individual can help the society if they achieve their goals. The education can change everything regarding people's life. We have seen a lot of example of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status. These factors influence to the people's life and decide the quality of education in each country. There are a lot of children who didn't even get basic education even if some of them are genius. This is really sad story for us but most people can't afford to care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. The education should be useful for society as well as individuals. If people don't feel achievement what their are doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. If the job is only for the money, there will not be any improvement for individuals and society. So, people have to try to find what they like and want to do in the future.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Mr. Hwang. I missed you Monday. Anyway, I know you had a good time with another teacher. ;)  Thanks for doing your essay. 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I strongly believe that the individual can help the society if they achieve their goals. 
>>> CORRECT
The education can change everything regarding people's life.
>>> CORRECT
We have seen a lot of example of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status.
>>> We have seen a lot of examples of the life pattern around the world according to the location, the culture and economic status.
 These factors influence to the people's life and decide the quality of education in each country. 
>>>  These factors influence the people's life and decisions of the quality of education in each country. 
There are a lot of children who didn't even get basic education even if some of them are genius. 
>>> CORRECT
This is really sad story for us but most people can't afford to care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. 
>>> This is really a sad story for us but most people can't afford to take care people who are living under the bad condition and environment. 
The education should be useful for society as well as individuals.
>>> CORRECT
 If people don't feel achievement what their are doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. 
>>>  If people don't feel any accomplishments on what they're doing, they don't want to do their work hard because they are not interested in doing their tasks. 
If the job is only for the money, there will not be any improvement for individuals and society. 
>>> If doing their job is only for the sake of money, there will not be any improvements for individuals and society. 
So, people have to try to find what they like and want to do in the future.
>>> CORRECT
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
109854 Do I like small talk? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 657
109853 HOMEWORK ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 509
109852 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109851 Give me one festival in your hometown that you enjoy the most. ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 430
109850 What are the advantages and disadvantages of working with a... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 2
109849 My favorite sweets treats are Twix, and ABC chocolate. ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 676
109848 What do you like most about Korea? ¿À*Àº ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 412
109847 Fill in the blanks ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 508
109846 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 572
109845 What is the first thing that you always do when you visit a new... ·ù*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 571
109844 What is the first thing that you always do when you visit a new... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 0
109843 Is getting angry an effective way of dealing with problems? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 2
109842 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 6
109841 How Tattos Went Mainstream in Korea À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109840 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109839 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109838 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109837 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 1
109836 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 3
109835 Argue À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-07-06 504

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04