¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Do you think women should be treated the same way as men? Why or why not?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Á¤
2021-04-27 1104

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think all people should be treated whether they are women or men. but when it comes to job, I think some of standard for women is easier than men. for example, the physical standard of police officer and firefighter is different depends on sex. I think it is unfair. even women, they can't avoid physical violence by criminal. this is not discrimination. this is different from sex. I think the standard must be same whether they are women or men.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Tobby! That's true. Gender inequality is a major controversy nowadays. Everyone should be treated the same. Although, it still might be different based on a person's capability regardless what gender they have. 

Thank you for making an effort in answering your homework for today. You did an awesome job! I'm so proud of you. Please read all the corrections I wrote down below and analyze them. I know you can do it. See you soon!

I think all people should be treated whether they are women or men. 
>>I think all people should be treated the same way whether they are men or women. 

but when it comes to job, I think some of standard for women is easier than men. 
>>>But when it comes to jobs, I think the standard for women is easier than men. 

for example, the physical standard of police officer and firefighter is different depends on sex. 
>> For example, the physical standard of police officers and firefighters are different based on sex. 

I think it is unfair. even women, they can't avoid physical violence by criminal. 
>> I think it's unfair. For women, they can't avoid physical violence from criminals. 

this is not discrimination. this is different from sex. 
>> This is not discrimination it's just understanding the capabilities  of each gender. 

I think the standard must be same whether they are women or men.
>> I think the standard must be the same whether they are women or men.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108821 What is your favorite summer dessert? Why? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 0
108820 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 2
108819 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 1
108818 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 2
108817 homework ÀÌ*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 1
108816 Homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 3
108815 My homework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 547
108814 Today\'s homework ÀÓ*ÃÑ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 512
108813 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 1
108812 My roommate Á¤*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 741
108811 Homework {05/24} Â÷*ºó ¿Ï·á 2021-05-25 556
108810 Homework (289) ¹Ú*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 588
108809 What was your best travel experience so far? ÀÌ*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 816
108808 What advice would you give a foreigner visiting your country who... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 718
108807 homework of friday ±è*±¸ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 754
108806 homework ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 3
108805 A good ads? ÀÌ*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 598
108804 Cultures and traditions are different in each country so what... ÀÌ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 847
108803 What part of your country would you ideally like to live in? ÇÏ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 511
108802 essay ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-05-24 530

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04