¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

obese

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¹Î
2021-04-29 777

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think being obese is danger. it can led to many disease.
First, It can led to high blood pressure. High blood pressure is very danger. And Iif it is very serious it can led to die.
Second, obese can also led to sleep apnea, asthma, fatty liver disease and many other disease. it's all very dangerous.
So that's why I think obese is very danger.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thanks for this Jed.
- T. Beth
============================
I think being obese is danger. 
>>> I think being obese is dangerous.    
it can led to many disease.
>>> It can led to many diseases.  
First, It can led to high blood pressure. 
>>> First, it can lead to high blood pressure.  
High blood pressure is very danger. 
>>> High blood pressure is very dangerous. 
And Iif it is very serious it can led to die.
>>> And if it is very serious it can lead to death.   
Second, obese can also led to sleep apnea, asthma, fatty liver disease and many other disease. 
>>> Second, obese can also lead to sleep apnea, asthma, fatty liver disease and many other diseases.      
it's all very dangerous.
>>> correct   
So that's why I think obese is very danger.
>>>  So that's why I think being obese is very dangerous.  

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
108038 What is the best holiday for you? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 3
108037 Reddy and Letty ±è*¶û ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 966
108036 What is your favorite artwork? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108035 What\'s the best advice from your parents? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 805
108034 grammar ¼Õ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 563
108033 Someone I admire.. ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 564
108032 Can you tell me about someone you admire? ³ë*ÀÌ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108031 Shinhan Card to call all employees including CEO by name À¯*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108030 Spring ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 699
108029 Homework Ç¥*È£ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 8
108028 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 673
108027 Homework ½É*»ó ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 668
108026 If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did,... ¿©*Áø ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108025 Stressed out ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 2
108024 sentence °­*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 2
108023 Homework ¹Ú*¸® ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 598
108022 Homework ÀÌ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108021 What do you think about Japan\'s plan to release radioactive... ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 0
108020 If you wanted to reward yourself for something that you did,... Çã*´Ã ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 1
108019 obese Á¤*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2021-04-29 777

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04